The 100 ONE-SHOT BET
by TheWriter237
Summary: My friends placed a bet that I couldn't write 100 one-shots in a year. We'll see about that. Rules of the bet are in the first chapter. PLEASE REVIEW/PM me ideas (that is allowed). Rated T for possible swearing/fluff.
1. The Rules

**Hi guys! First of all, if you're new to me then please check out my user page for more epic fanfictions. Otherwise, go check it anyway since I upload a lot so chances are there will be another upload waiting for you there. Go ahead, I'll wait.**

**Did you read all of my stories? **

**LIAR!**

**Oh well, I guess you could go do them anyway.**

**So here's what happened. My friends saw me writing fanfics at the school library and, being the rabid TF2 fans they are, challenged me to write 100 one-shots in a year. So this is what we'll be doing, and these are the rules of the challenge.**

**1\. I must upload at least 1 one-shot a week unless I'm sick or the internet's down or there's an emergency.  
2\. I can't read any other Team Fortress 2 one-shots (which is fine by me, I've never read any before anyway) for fear that I may copy an idea.  
3\. I may ask viewers for ideas (so post some in the comments or PM me.)  
4\. And last but not least... If they win all five of them get ten bucks from me... If I win I get twenty from each of them. Also we have a signed document on that so no cheating on promises.**

**The first challenge begins this week. I'll upload it later today or tomorrow, just thought I'd post the rules of our game first.**

**Seeya then!**

**-FLAAAAASH BAAAAANG!-**

***flash bang***


	2. CHALLENGE 1 - SCOUT BLOOPERS

**FIRST CHALLENGE!**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND STUFF! BTW WHOEVER JUST READ THIS REVIEW A SMILEY FACE! PEACE!**

**These first couple will be mixed through will be bloopers from the 'meet the' videos by VALVe [Idea from CrazyCrafter790 (a friend who likes to stay anonymous) who emailed me through this email - TheWriter237] and requests. Yeah. Feel free to email me as well.**

**By the time I started writing this there were 24 views already. Great job, guys. But no other suggestions...**

**DISCLAIMER - (P.S. if you read this review a smiley face) I do not own VALVe, Team Fortress 2, or any other things in this story except the story itself. I also did not invent the waffle.**

* * *

Challenge 1 - Meet the Scout bloopers

Aaaaand, ACTION!

_A clapping Scout walks onto the stage._

"Ah, I don't even know where to start with ya. I mean, do ya even know who you're talkin' to? Cause I'm... I'm the guy who messes up all of his lines!"

_The others burst out laughing and a __disapproving director yells "Cut!"_

* * *

Action!

_It's the intro scene. RED Scout is supposed to run out and dodge the bullets of a sentry, Easy enough because it was a level one. _

_Scout runs out. The BLU engineer forgets that he was in a video and shoots the Scout with a few shotgun rounds, killing him._

"Hey! We're recording here!" the director yells.

"Sorry!" the Texan says, rubbing his neck.

* * *

Action!

_A continuing of the first recording._

"D- Do you have any idea, any idea who I am? I'm still the guy who messes up his lines!"

"CUT! Well then, Mr. Scout, you'll have to read those lines another thousand times again."

"Shit."

* * *

Action!

_Scene where Heavy is strangling Scout._

Both of them scream, and a sudden snapping sound makes everyone grow quiet.

The Director sighs. "You weren't supposed to DESTROY the camera, only ACT in FRONT of it."

"Sorry!"

* * *

Action!

_Scene where Scout climbs up and jumps down a cargo box, bonking Heavy's head._

Scout does well with the climbing up and jumping down. Unfortunately his bat slips and cracks the camera lens.

Everyone is silent for a while.

"Well you folks sure are expensive to be around, aren't ya." the director says.

* * *

**Sorry if this was a bit bad, I haven't done anything like this before so it was new for me. Fortunately, ideas are really rolling in! Thanks to the three guests who gave me some ideas, but since I can't thank you properly, next time PLEASE make an account. It's free!**

**FLAAAAASH BAAAANG!**

***Flashbang***


	3. CHALLENGE 2 - THE MANN BROTHERS

**HOLY MOLY GUYS! I am not used to so much feedback, as most of my fanfics were on reasonably popular games. TF2 is very popular, I know that, but You, yes You, next to the screen, you guys have given me 189 views in three days for two freaking chapters. Also some follows, favorites, and six reviews. Also, please review some names for the guys, I am very bad with coming up with names. Yeah.**

**To celebrate the awesomeness of you guys, I am going to respond to one of these six reviews to make it into a story, but first... Review Acknowledgments.**

* * *

TehPancakeFactor - Love your name! Also, if anyone else wants me to write some TF2 reacts I'll get started on those. Please review if you like the idea! Also you were my first reviewer, even if Force o' Nacha was pretty close.

Force o' Nacha - I love that gun so much I named it "Newton's Third Law." Anyone get that physics joke? If not, please look up Newton's Third Law on google. Your idea is getting started, because I always imagined how they got rid of all the bread and why bread now flies out of teleporters.

Guest - Yeah, got that covered already.

KG7X000 - Sorry if it's similar, keep in mind though that it was a friend's idea and I never read any other one-shots for a reason. Yeah.

IcedFireFrenzy - THANK YOU! FIRST COMPLIMENT REVIEW (KG7X000 had a compliment too, I guess, but it wasn't the only thing he reviewed about.)

Divergency - Okay, I'll try, but could you be more specific?

* * *

**If you guys keep reviewing this much I may not be able to answer all of your reviews, but I will PM you. Also, if you want me to continue writing these after 100, let me know! I enjoy writing these! Also, I will do two-shots and three-shots if you want me. Review about that too. Yeah.**

**Whoever is reading this DISCLAIMER review a smiley face! I DO NOT OWN TF2! **

* * *

Objective 2 - The Mann Brothers (Idea by me[Part of this is the intro to my TF2 story that I'm working on])

A not so very long time ago, in a world very, very near...

There was a war.

Not an normal war, mind you. It was a war of the two brothers. Blutarch and Redmond Mann. Which meant that anything could happen.

You see, when Blutarch and Redmond Mann were born, as twins, they hated each other with first sight. As they got older, the hate slowly grew, until it got physical. Near the age of twenty. But lets go a bit more back in time.

The fights would always start out, when they were little kids, about the best color ever created on Earth or just by people. Blutarch would like the color blue and Redmond would like the color red. Obviously. The names of the colors were in their names.

When their parents somehow simultaneously died (not getting murdered by Redmond and Blutarch...) they had given up a while ago trying to convince each other of what the best color was. Now they were fighting over who would inherit the land that their parents had owned.

The land itself was barren, without many plants. Some buildings that served as the mercenaries (sponsored by Redmond and Blutarch) for the BLU and RED teams. I see you won' have much trouble figuring out who's been hired by who.

Anyway, so the land had a very low value on the market, but it was the metal _under_ the land that the Mann Brothers were interested in. It was Australium, the tint of gold and the smell of vanilla (for some reason), the magical alloy and the scientific metal. The Australium was what let the Medic's Medi Guns work, the thing that would transport the fighters to the front lines with teleports. It could even make the Frenchmen become invisible. But that wasn't the most extraordinary thing about this bar of metallic magic.

It could make you immortal.

Instead of me going into all the facts, which would take forever, let's just say that the Mann brothers have been alive for over four hundred years. And that the war was waged (say that five times fast) with the same people for over three hundred. That sure puts things into perspective, don't it?

So here we are. Another five hundred years in the future. Redmond and Blutarch are dead. Killed by their third brother.

Gray. His name is Gray Mann.

But, for another couple years, the war was continued by the Administrator, who was neutral between her late employers.

Then there was an army.

Made of tons of metal and run by electricity.

Looks copied off of the fighters we all know and love.

Robots. Thousands of them. And they were bringing huge bombs into the Mann Co. outposts.

That stopped the small war with our small eighteen friends pretty quickly.

* * *

**That is the prolouge for my TF2 story I'm currently working on. I'll post when I'm finished with the planning on this.**

**SEEYA!**

**-Challenge 2 Complete-**


	4. CHALLENGE 3 - HHH

**So! WIFI problems have struck me on the face again so I haven't been able to do anything until today. Don't be too mad at me.**

**Thanks for all the reviews, MAGGOTS! No really, I appreciate them. Let's acknowledge them here, shall we?**

* * *

**Crimson - Thanks! You have brightened my day!**

**Marzenin - I WILL DO THAT IDEA (and the one that you put at the end of your review - Solly get back in your cage!) Thanks for supporting my stories!**

**Divergency - Idea number two and three sounds good, though I may change scout with another character. Like medic, who is developing a cure or something. Yeah. Thanks for turning on that lightbulb!**

**WildPiercy - Yeah, some of my friends told me about that. I'lll go around to fix it. You know, I never realized that TF2 actually had any lore at all...**

**IcedFireFrenzy - Thanks for continuing to share your compliments!**

**LilyRosetheDreamer - Sorry, it's stated in the rules that I can't read you story. I'll get to it after the bet is over though. Also, does that name mean that you dream all the time or when you're just asleep?**

* * *

**From now on I'm limiting review replies to seven a chapter because this is just getting huge. If only sone of you would go check out my other stories... (wink wink nudge nudge). R&amp;R please!**

* * *

It was Halloween.

A very dark and stormy Halloween, mind you. The REDs and BLUs were fighting for control over Mann Manor again, like they did on the last day of October every year. But this year was different.

The BLU team walked into the Manor, which changed every year (MAGIC!) so they could forge a plan to take control of the Manor. But it would not be so easy this year.

"Aw, this place again? Good thing we only gotta fight here til' three a' clock and we're home free, right doc?" Scout grumbled.

"MAGGOT! SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE TOYMAKERS PLAN!" Soldier boomed. He was always into these type of military planning.

"Okay then, since it's clear that our little Scout here wasn't payin' no attention to my plan, we'll have to start all over again"

A chorus of groans and angry glances towards Scout made the mood a lot worse.

*A three-hour lecture later*

The Scout and Demoman were heading over to the first point.

"Aw shit! These stupid pumpkins give me tha creeps! You do _not_ know, _NOT _know how much I wanna shoot one-a-dese right about now." the first said in a Bostonian accent.

"If ya wanna, lad, but be sure ya do it at a distance, and never when Ahm close tah one. I don't wanna lose mah other eye." the Scotsman said.

"What do you mean? It's not like these pumpkins can fight back or somethin'. Right?" Scout said in an uneasy accent.

The explosives expert waved his hand dismissively at the orange ball of pie ingredient.

And chucked an empty bottle of beer at it.

"SHIT! WHAT DA HELL DID YOU DO DEMO?!" Scout screamed, cowering against a box, hiding from the sudden flames and explosions.

"I didn't do nothin'. That pumpkin was explosives, my boy."

"I'm starting to hate this place."

*Two hours later*

"Yes! Vhe are capturing zhe final point!" A Frenchman in a balaclava yelled, his revolver spinning and shooting. When suddenly...

"HELLO THERE!" A huge ghoulish voice boomed.

All eighteen mercenaries froze and turned their heads slowly towards the place the voice had came from...

And screamed for their mothers.

"YOU MAY CALL ME THE HORSELESS HEADLESS HORSEMAN! BUT YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT! YOU'LL BE RUNNING FOR YOUR LIVES ANYWAY!" HHH yelled. He then proceeded to cut off the two demomen's heads.

"SHIT!"

Everyone started screaming and running in all directions, except the BLU spy who simply became invisible and handed his fast team-mate his cloak and dagger.

They both went over to an abandoned shed.

"Vhell, do you still hate this map?"

"Whacha think spy? You thought I'd start prancin' along throwing flowers an' shit? OF COURSE I HATE THIS MAP! TIMES FIVE THOUSAND!" Scout yelled.

His huge voice let the HHH track them down and chop off their heads.

THE END.

* * *

**Just some idea I got from the time I played TF2 at Halloween. R&amp;R please!**


	5. CHALLENGE 4 - Dark Reality - 1

**Idea from Divergency! I'm doing a few one-shots for this topic so THANKS DIVERGENCY FOR THIS IDEA! I'm combining ideas 2 and 3 for a three shot, but it won't be all in a row so you'll have to wait a while until the next part shows up.**

**Also, someone asked me by PM if I was gonna stop writing these after the bet. OF COURSE NOT! I LOVE WRITING THESE AND I'LL RENAME IT THE ONE-THOUSAND ONE-SHOT BET IF I HAVE TO! THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO IS READING THIS! REVIEW A :D if you read this.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own anything in this story. Even the idea of the story. I also did not invent the waffle. We owe that to someone in 900 A.D. **

**THAT WAS YOUR RANDOM FACT OF THE DAY!**

* * *

I can't turn my back to the dark reality of the world. I can only stall.

The respawn room malfunctioned. For both RED and BLU.

This is all my fault.

Of course the BLU medic blames himself too. The Administrator is postponing the battles until we get this matter fixed... And maybe bring back our fallen teammates.

Half the BLU team is dead. Three of the REDs are with them. BLU pyro was the first to go.

We didn't notice that the system wasn't working until the end of the battle. By then though, BLU Heavy, Scout, Spy, Soldier, and Pyro were dead. Our Demoman, Engineer, and Sniper were dead too.

There was a dead representative for each class but Medic.

This is all my fault.

Me and my rival in BLU are finally working together to get the respawn back up and running. BLU Engineer is helping with that too, and we almost got it fixed.

But how to revive our fallen?

We can't. It's impossible. The safety net of the Respawn Room was the last boundary between death and us.

So how were we supposed to fish them back from the river of death?

This is all my fault.

Science couldn't solve this. Even the respawn room itself was a feat of science way in the future, never done before. There were no how-to guides to bring back the dead in science.

When science fails you, where can you turn?

Myth. And if that doesn't work, if they will still be dead even after our combined efforts...

It would be all our faults.

We couldn't let our family down.

I turned to my comrade in blue.

"Let's go. Science can't solve zis problem. You know zat now, don't you?" he says.

"Yes, mein freund, I know. I know. Ve must delve into the arts of ze myth." I reply, and as I say it I know that's exactly what he was thinking.

* * *

*Two days later*

We are researching the ancient rituals of the tribes of old to see how we can perform them once more with technology.

Yes, we have thought of making a portable respawn gun. That is probably how we will do this. It isn't as easy as it sounds.

First of all, the person who _created_ the respawn system was our friend Engineer's grandfather. He's dead.

The only other person who new about the respawn system: how it worked and how it was built - killed in the robot war between us and Gray Mann. The Mechanic could never keep himself out of our fights.

So how do we get this information?

Aztec myths or the path of Egyptians and Greeks?

* * *

**Well! This was like the intro for the story. Looks like the Medics have to get out of their comfort zone a bit now.**


	6. CHALLENGE 5 - Brothers

**Idea by Guest a long time ago. REVIEWS!**

* * *

**IcedFireFrenzy - Thank you for not throwing rotten tomatoes at me. I appreciate it.**

**LilyRosetheDreamer - Thanks! I'm gonna use some of the ideas you gave me. They'll help a lot.**

**Divergency - :3 I won't do the pyro thing though it hurts my head because noone knows for a fact of his gender (although game theory at youtube proved scientifically that pyro was a homosexual male. I doubt it though.)**

**ApplesAndOranges - Thanks for the idea! I'll go check them out later (it's okay that your review wasn't showing up: it shows your perseverance when you PM'd me because the review didn't work****).  
Also, the fourth-wall-repairmen thank you. Your shift will be on Mondays and Fridays. Also, no mortar.**

* * *

**Guys! We are already close to 700 views and 19 reviews and 200 viewers! You guys are the best. This has gotten really huge SO FAST that I am AMAZED. Thanks to all those people staring at these words on the screen!**

**Also, I'm watching Lol Limewire on Google right now. Google it!**

* * *

The Medic and Heavy have a special relationship no matter which game you're playing. Are you playing with pros or noobs? In a tournament or just for fun?

If there is a Medic and a Heavy, you'll rarely see them leave each other.

Why?

Let's delve into the game and find out.

*Goes into the computer* (I'M SORRY FOURTH WALL REPAIRMEN!)

Just to make it easier for me to describe the area to you, let me give you an in-the-air shot (also known as an aerial shot).

There were 2 Forts.

If you don't play Team Fortress 2 or you just need more of an explanation, there are two forts, one red and one blue. It's pretty hard to guess which team was starting in which fort. Yeah.

In the middle there is a river. Connected to the river and under the forts are sewers. There is a bridge crossing the river. There is a roof on the bridge. And there are sniping nests.

Good enough of a description to you?

Good.

Now we can begin.

"Doktor! Help!"

A booming voice of a red heavy shouts out to his fellow medic as he runs back to the base, severely damaged and almost fatally wounded.

"Don't vorry! I am a Man of Medicine! I vill heal you!" the Medic says, smiling and holding out a medi gun.

"HURRY DOKTOR!" Heavy yells, fearing that someone would come and finish him off.

"Vait a moment..." the Medic mutters, walking behind the heavy and pulling something out of his pocket.

"Chert poberi," the Heavy says, realizing that it was a spy. Also, that translates to 'damn it'.

*Five Minutes Later*

An angry Heavy has respawned in the Resupply Room, along with the real Medic.

"Vell, how did you die zis time?" Medic asks.

Heavy didn't answer, still sick from the trip to respawn. Coming back alive really takes it out of you.

"Vhat's ze matter, Spy got your tongue?"

"No, doktor, he got my back. Etot durak." (That means 'That fool.' Not that you needed that) "What do we do now? They are winning two zero! WE WILL LOSE!"

Not an unfamiliar situation to you, isn't it? Yet this time, this was the first time this ever happened. When a Medic and Heavy never budged from each other and killed everyone. Not very happy to our standards, but to them...

Amazing.

It felt enthralling to completely destroy the people who killed their friends.

And it won them the game.

But it also kept the Medic from healing everyone else.

Which made everyone else on their team die.

Which led to them hating Medic.

Which led to Medic becoming close friends with Heavy.

* * *

**That took forever to write and also gave me a new idea.**

**WE ARE HAVING INTERVIEWS FOR ALL THE CHARACTERS NEXT IS SCOUT ASK QUESTIONS**


	7. CHALLENGE 6 - Scout interviewnotice

**Hey guys!**

**I'm back from vacation and better than ever! This isn't really a one-shot, more like an announcement page (ok yeah there might be a one-shot... NOT). The reason I didn't want this to be in a one-shot because it would make people feel like I was using announcements to beef up my word count. So here they are (they're really important DONT SKIP THEM)**

**1\. I decided to get off my lazy arse and write a real LEGIT story for TF2 (I've started one for Don't Starve and I'm re-writing it right now, and I started up a couple other ones not getting any attention at all, and I'll release a minecraft story the same day as the TF2 and will announce it here...) AND I NEED IDEAS! Well I already have ideas and I wanted to have a vote. I will be writing two of these stories:**

** A. ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE FREAKING ONE-CHARACTER-IS-FEMININE AND EVERYONE ELSE TRIES TO IMPRESS HER if you choose this please state which character you'd like to see fem**

** B. The Tenth. A girl called Lily who had some... 'surgery' by Mann Co when she needed to hide from criminal organizations around the world. Epic escalating plot and slowly revealing an epic backstory (created by one of you in a contest I will announce in the course of the story)**

**C. Pineapples. All about pineapples by the Team Fortress 2 characters. This one was meant to be a joke so if you pick this one... It will say a lot about you. Namely the fact that you're like me and you really like pineapples.**

** D. Ceasefire. What happens when there's a ceasefire. This was meant to be a one-shot but hey! Maybe I could make a pretty good story out of it!**

**THAT WAS YOUR VOTE! Please don't PM me what you want just because you want your vote to be private, I'm also making a closed poll that will end when I announce the winner here. Probably by August 10th, so vote fast!****  
**

**2\. I'm making a new steam group called Mannly Group in steam for you guys and my new youtube channel coming up. It will be up by the time I publish this notice to you guys. Please join to participate in my Starbound, Team Fortress 2, Don't Starve (coming to multiplayer), Minecraft, and other videos!**

**3\. Acknowledgements. Seriously, you guys are the best. Unless you guys write yourself, and I think I speak for the whole writing community here:**

**It takes us soooo much courage to start up a story we hope will not get negative feedback (happened to me once, someone said some stuff that made me feel crappy about releasing that story and I deleted it out of the web. Looking back I see how it was actually a really bad story) **

**You guys did nothing of the sort.**

**YOU, yes you, reading these nonsense word when you could be off doing better things, you are my inspiration, my light, and my REASON. You are the reason I take time to give you guys these clumps of bad grammer that somehow still make the cut. **

**You have noone to thank for this but you.**

**Well, I guess me too, but the whole community is THE inspiration for all those writers on the web.**

**So next time you read one of my works, one of ANYONE's works,**

**Think of what a good job you've done.**

**NOW THAT WE'RE DONE WITH ALL THIS LET'S GET TO WORK WITH THE INTERVIEW! (Yeah, I lied, Scout's interview is here. Please join the steam group though, it'll mean a lot to me. Or you can friend me - Mannly Mann is my current steam name. I'll update it if I ever change it, but I change it often so just join the group.)**

**Review acknowledgements will be in the next chapter because you guys had to sit through sooo much nonsense shit already.**

* * *

Some of the questions were by me and my friends when I told them I was doing an interview for Scout. Don't worry, all of your questions are here.

Q: So Scout! You're the first person in the lineup of the game, how does that make you feel?

A: What game? You made a game out-a' us? I dunno 'bout it, but let's just say that it makes me feel like I chugged down a hundred cans of dem Bonk! and had a couple ubers fired at me at the same time. You have no idea, no idea how much that hurts.

Q: Why did you mess up your lines so much?

A: Why don't _you_ try not messing up ya know ya got 'bout a couple million people linin' up ta watch your vid.

Q: Er... Seven Million and a few, actually.

A: Shit, man, ya guys watched _that _clump of pics seven million times? Ya guys are messed up.

Q: OK, a question from IcedFireFrenzy: During Halloween when you have your Scary Hat on, why do you sometimes blame the hat for one of your mistakes?

A: Because it scares me man! That thing is like fuckin' haunted or somethin'.

"Oooooooo, I'm a scary hat, and I'm gonna haaaauuuuuunt yoooooouuuuuuuu..."

A: SHIT RUN!

Q: Two from Marezin: What's yer favorite type of hat? And do you smell funny when covered in Jarate?

A: WEEEELL, I have a few, but the funniest would be dat hot dogger. I know, it's not very funny or somethin', but you can always rely on it for a snack.

... Also I'd like to see you not smell bad when covered in dat sniper's piss.

Q: Question from someone by PM (obviously that someone wanted his/her name not to be mentioned and that's why he sent it to me by PM): Y U SO FAST BRA?

A: Y U SO SLOW, BRA?

* * *

**Ok, guys, I'm off to write a one-shot that someone described like this: **

Krulla Chief chapter 5 . Jul 16  
Heres an idea:SIR ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON OF A BITCH IN SPACE

**Yeah that's gonna be interesting.**

**Join the steam group and send in your questions for interview 2: SOLDIER (Which will involve him screaming maggot a lot)**


	8. CHALLENGE 7 - ISAAC NEWTON STRIKES

**So I finally got around to doing Krulla Chief's idea that Isaac Newton is 'the deadliest son of bitch in space'.**

**FIRST OF ALL! I would like to thank PIECRAFT782 FOR SENDING ME THIS AMAING LINK -**

**steam-wallet. steam-key m/?ref =rIT vYih8**

**(NO SPACES) FOR A STEAM FREE CARD CODE HACK THAT ACTUALLY WORKS! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! (All you have to do is make a couple other people click your referral link, and I don't think there's a survey. If it sucks then don't blame me. It worked for me.)**

**I've been playing VS. Saxton Hale recently (when everyone goes against SAXTON HALE) and I decided to replace him with Isaac Newton. Saxton Hale, if you're reading this, please don't kill me. OH SHIT HE'S BREAKING DOWN MY DOOR!**

**Oh wait it's just some guys in suits THEY HAVE GUNS HE-**

**Disclaimer- (some guys in suits are forcing me to do this) I DON'T OWN TF2 NOW CAN YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE**

* * *

One day... the REDs were laughing at the blown up bodies with BLU clothing that looked like exact replicas of themselves.

Team Fortress 2 logic. That's all that is needed to explain why all this is going to happen.

WARNING WARNING IF YOU READ THIS YOU MAY BE BLOWN UP WARNING WARNING

"ISAAAC NEWTON!" AN EPIC VOICE FLIES OUT OF THE SKIES AND SLAPS ALL THE REDS IN THE FACE

YES THIS STORY WILL NOT HAVE PROPER GRAMMER AND/OR MOSTLY CAPS BUT IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT GO BACK TO YOUR WIMPY MLP FANFICS MAGGOTS!

"Aw what the FUCK was that!?" Scout yells, shaking in fear of the AMAZING ISAAAC NEWTON!

"ISAAAC NEWTON!" He screams again as he jumps out of the sky and flattens the shovel that the Soldier was about to pick up!

"HOLY SHIT!" Scout fires his Force-A-Nature as he uses its propulsion to blast himself back. "That'll teach ya! I'm a force in nacha, baby!

Isaac Newton looks at Scout with a glare SO TERRIFYING IT FREEZES HIM IN PLACE!

And takes off his frilly white wig...

TO SHOW A FULL MANE OF BLACK HAIR THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE WIG!

"I INVENTED FORCE, PUNY MORTAL!" He screams! Newton sucks in all the air in a five mile radius and screams: "NEEEEEWWWWTTTOOON'S THIIIIIRDD LAAAAWWW!" AND BLOWS PUNY SCOUT BACK TO RESPAWN!

"Doktor, now!" The Heavy says, as the Medic deploys an Uber on him. SADLY, HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT NEWTON CAN DEFLECT BULLETS WITH HIS FISTS!

"ISSSAAAAACCC NEEWTOOON!"

BOOM! THE MEDIC AND HEAVY FLY BACK TO RESPAWN AS WELL!

"Huddah huddah huh!" The Pyro yells, taunting with his phlogistinator and (trying to) FLAMING THE CRAP OUT OF OL' NEWTON!

WHICH OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE IT'S ISAAC NEWTON! HE'S THE DEADLIEST SON OF A BITCH IN SPACE!

(SHIT HE'S HERE I'M SORRY MISTER NEWTON I WON'T SWEAR AT YOU AGAIN "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT WON'T!" MAKE IT STOP!)

Isaac Newton PUNCHES THE AIR AND KILLS THE PYRO JUST BY BEING SOOO AWESOME!

In the meantime...

RED Sniper and Spy were trying to get critical hits on him while Soldier and Demoman shot explosives and Engineer built his sentry. WHEN SUDDENLY!

THE BLU TEAM RESPAWNS TO LOTS OF SHIT HAPPENING OUTSIDE THEIR BASE!

"Uh... What the bloody 'ell's 'appenin', mate (That is a lot of apostrophes)?" The BLU Sniper says, puzzled, as the rest of the BLUs slowly come out with their weapons drawn only TO COWAR IN FEAR FROM THE GREAT MIGHTY ISAAC NEWTON!

HE SHOOTS LAZERS OUT OF HIS EYES (BECAUSE LAZERS WITH A Z SOUNDS COOLER THAN LASERS WITH AN S) AND DESTROYS EVERYONE BUT THE BLU SOLDIER WHO THROWS AN APPLE AT NEWTON'S HEAD!

"NOOOO MY ONLY WEAKNESSSSSSssssssss..." HE SAYS AS HE BLOWS UP INTO A FORCE WAVE SOOOO HUGE IT DESTROYS EVERYTHING IN A 100-MILE RADIUS!

And that is how Apples are different from oranges.

* * *

**Just some more random stuff here. Yes, I am doing a one-shot called apples and oranges which will be a mix-up of stupidly satisfying hilarity clumps. See you then! ALSO! I FORGOT TO DO REVIEWS SO WHY NOT DO THEM NOW!**

**REVIEWS!**

**Krulla Chief - Your ideas are crazy and impossible. I like them. Which is why I just wrote it.**

**TexanSpy - :D Thanks!**

**Holy-Miracles-21 - Thanks! Also, that could be a story as well as a interview question... if Scout was female... Hmm... NEWS ON THAT TO COME**

**Marezin (3) - Wow. You reviewed sooo many times! Also, I am a boy, when I read girl first I went all WTF MAN COME ON SERIOUSLY and then I read the next word. You question will be answered.**

**IcedFireFrenzy - I HAS MAH SCAREE HAT ON BOOOOO! Your question will be answered, though expect a ridiculously long reply...**

**KG7X000 (2) - Tank you! *Blows up your house with a tank* No but seriously thanks.**

**The Queen of Spade - That would be an... interesting... idea... MORE TO COME LATER**

**LeFrenchSpy - Maybe I'll put it in the APPLES AND ORANGES but I used your idea to maybe make a story depending on how the poll shows up.**

* * *

**SEEYA LATER FOR NOW I'M GONNA CATCH SOME SNOOZES IT'S 3 A.M.**


	9. CHALLENGE 8 - Apples and Oranges 1

**Hey guys! Computer battery needed replacement, so i had to wait a week before I could start writing this. In other news...**

**THE NUMBER OF VIEWS IS OVER NIIIINNNEEE THOOOUUUUUSSSAAAANND!**

**You guys are amazing.**

* * *

**REVIEWS!**

**InnocentWaffles2 - Uh... I guess we know now what your favorite fruit is...**

**TehOnlyNoob - MERASMUS OVERPOWERED BITCH MAGICIAN WHO THROWS DANCE PARTIES**

**Marezin - Oh noes! I killed a fan... Wait how do you kill a fan? I mean they're like made of plastic and steel...**

**IcedFireFrenzy - Why would you say that? SAXTON HALE IS GOING TO BEAT YOU UP NOW (he made me type that PLEASE TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID OH NO HES BREAKING MY NE-)**

* * *

**K guys back from respawning so enjoy!**

**No one joined my steam group yet - The Mannly Group. Please do.**

* * *

Apple 1 - MERASMUS!

'Twas the day of hallows, and on that day, two teams of color were fighting away

Rockets were fling through the air, ghost were giving scary glares

They were in Viaduct, and the author decided to drop this stupid rhyme thing.

The REDs were winning by a lot, health was obtained in candy pots (okay that was the last rhyme)

When MERASMUS came.

"YOU FOOLS! YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE THE POWER... OF MERASMUS!" MERASMUS yelled as he forced everyone to get in two lines and dance.

"DANCE PARTY!"

The two scots broke out the beer and everyone became drunk.

Also MERASMUS must always be typed in all caps.

* * *

Apple 2 -

"Overtime," the Administratir called out.

"Ah screw it. Do you wanna have a baseball game?" The RED scout says to the BLU scout.

Meanwhile, the Soldiers and Demomen were having a rocket/sticky jumping contest.

"HAH!"

"BEST TWO OUT OF THREE OR I WILL BEAT YOUR HEAD IN MAGGOT!"

The Engies were having a rock concert by themselves with borrowed electric guitars from the pyros.

"WHOO! BURN THAT METAL!"

The Heavies were chewing in their Sandwiches while their medics talked about how annoying it was when your quick-fixed soldier would suddenly rocket jump.

"Dummkopfs, thinking zat vhe actually enjoy soaring through zhe air."

The pyros were staring at a rabbit bouncing around on the battlefield.

"Mmph mph mm phmm mmeh"

"Mmmmm..."

The RED Spy and BLU Sniper were smoking together while the other pair were examining pictures of the baby animals and full-grown lions that the sniper tamed.

"Zey are quite cute, non?"

"You said it, mate."

Moral of this apple?

Screw you overtime no one likes you.

* * *

Apple L - Solly and his Apples.

"MAGGOTS! I ORDER YOU TO BITE INTO THESE APPLES I HAVE SHINED PERSONALLY FOR YOUR HEALTH AND SANITY!" a Soldier screamed as he crashed into the living room, carrying an apple-loaded rocket launcher.

"Fuck! GUYS RUN SOLLY'S STARTED DOING IT AGAIN!" Scout screams.

"But it's only been seven minutes since his _last_ bloody output, ya piker!" Sniper yells backs, already retreating to his van.

"Ah, merde. I am going to go invisible and sleep in my room for a while, wake me up when he is finished." Spy says, facepalming and tasking out his cloak and dagger.

"APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES!"

"Solly! Get back in your bloody cage!"

* * *

**Erm... I have no idea what was going along in my brain as I write this.**

**In other news, no one has joined my steam group (The Mannly Group) or done my poll (my profile). Please do those!**

**Also I'm writing from a tablet so there may be a few mistakes PM me when you see one. Yeah. **

**NO QUESTIONS HAVE COME IN FOR THE SOLDIER INTERVIEW YET PLEASE DO SO**


	10. CHALLENGE 9 - Solly and Sniper and Apple

**So... One of you told me to write a 800 word one-shot about apples not including author's note. Here it is?**

**I also got this crazy idea for next one-shot. SAXTON HALE VERSUS ISAAC NEWTON! **

**Comment who you think will win!**

**Also, I just realized that the poll wasn't up so I re-uploaded it. It will stay there until about the 20th of this August so vote fast pls. **

**REVIEW!**

* * *

**YUNOguy - Y U NO WRITE STORY BRAH**

**Marezin - Marezin. My friend. You just bought yourself Soldier screaming at you for more than five hours about crimes against not eating apples. Now the interview will take like twenty hours to read...**

**IcedFireFrenzy - It's free at store. steampowered. com. So is TF2. Now Solly will yell at you too for not playing the game he shows up in.**

* * *

**GUYS WE HAVE 8 FAVS AND 7 FOLLOWS THNX**

* * *

**Disclaimer - I'd ask why I didn't own TF2, but then I realized it would become a really bad game. So... Valve, you're doing great.**

* * *

Challenge 9 - Apples not Oranges

The Apple. One of the greatest things nature has ever created, maybe the only great thing.

Its sweet, crunchiness and the edible outer layer make it perfect for having as a quick snack because it's okay if you don't peel the apple.

Or, in this case, on the battlefield.

Sol loved apples. In fact, if you open the fridge in his room, you'd find it filled to the brim with apples, steak, a bit of lemonade (The Americans Drink, as he calls it) and beer (The Not American But Good Drink, as he calls _it_). I'm fact, there was one time when the general fridge, I'm the kitchen, was also filled with apples.

For apple cider. The third best drink in the world to the trigger happy RPG carrying Soldier.

In fact... There was one time...

*Flashback!*

"Sol! Whoa there, Sol, no need to get physical over some a' dem fruit, right? Right? ARGH HE'S BREAKING MY SPINE GET HIM BACK IN HIS CAGE!" A terrified voice of a Scout is heard in the otherwise calm land of TeuFort.

"No! You will chew on this fruit and you will LIKE IT, Scoot! I'VE MADE IT NICE AND SHINY FOR YOU TAKE A BIT-" A crazy voice of a Soldier is heard in the now not so calm land of TeuFort.

"MEDIC!"

"Medic! Solly 'ere's 'avin' one of his bloody apple... Fits..." was how far their Demoman got before he fell asleep from the bottle in his hand.

"Dummkopfs! Engineer! Get zhe cage ready!" The Medic yells out. "Soldier is going crazy again!"

"Non... It cannot be 'appening! His last fit was trois days ago!" The French assassin yells out from his room. "Merde... Let me know when it iz over."

"Well it's happenin', frenchy, might as well help out." The toymaker yells out, pulling out a cage on wheels.

"APPLES! I GOT YOUR'S NICE AND SHINY, COMRADE, YOU ARE GOING TO EAT MY APPLE AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT! APPLES!"

"Fuckin' hell! Medic! I'm bleedin' out here, man!" Scout yells, on the floor with a broken spine and blood pooling around him.

"I vill heal you," Medic says as the healing rays hits the Scout.

"WHO HAS THE FRYING PAN?" Engie yells.

"Oi bloody have the frying pan! Is Solly getting louder? Oi heard him from my bloody van, mate!" The Australian sharpshooter yells.

"SNIPER! GET OVER HERE, AUSTRALIAN! I HAVE YOUR APPLE HERE AND I AM GOING TO WATCH YOU FINISH IT!"

"Fuck! Hurry up and knock him out!" Engie says.

"I VILL HIT TINY BABY APPLE MAN!" A Russian yells. He has his own frying pan and is walking over to the screaming Soldier.

"APPLES! Apples apples apples apples apples apples ap-"

"Great job, pardner. We got him," Engie says.

"Yes, yes, someone help me pull him into ze cage before he gets back up and fucks us all!"

"I'll help," Scout says.

The team may not agree over fighting strategies and all, but when it came to Solly's apple rages, we'll, let's just say it snaps them out of their trance and forces them to work together.

*Ten minutes later*

"Argh... Hey, Scoot! Did it happen again?" Soldier yells through the bars.

"Yep. Ya broke my spine, ya know." Scout mutters.

"Jeez."

"Solly?"

"Yeah?"

"Next time, save it for the REDs, will ya?"

"Sure thing Scoot, sure thing."

Their conversation was interrupted by the Demoman.

"Bloody books... Heads full of eyeballs... *snore*"

*The Flashback is over*

Back already? I have one more apple related story for you, if you like.

You do? Nobody ever likes my stories.

So it was another silent night in TeuFort...

*Flashback!*

It was almost the holiday season. That explained why it was snowing.

Soldier was horrible at cooking. That explained why he had to bother the Engineer for s cooked steak.

"TOYMAKER!" He yells, sticking his head into the Engineer's workshop.

Engie sighs. "Another steak? Alright then, I was gettin' pretty darn hungry myself anyway.

"YES! You are the BEST, toymaker! Let's show those Europeans what Americans eat!" Soldier yells, not being able to refrain from a racist comment.

"Technically, Sol, Scouts American too, and Snipes is Aussie." Engineer says.

"YOUR WHINING WILL NOT GET MY STEAK COOKED!"

"Okay, okay, I'll cook your steak if you let me have one and leave me alone for the day."

"YES. I will do that."

The two made their way to the kitchen, which took a while because it was on the other side of RED base. Which is why they ran into Sniper halfway there.

"Apples, mate, apples apples apples! Engie! I got yours noice and shoiney for ya mate! BITE INTO THE JUICY DELICACY OF THE RED FRUIT! BOW DOWN TO ITS SHRINE!"

"Er, maybe later, Snipes. Hey, is that an apple on the ground over there? Why don't you go pick it up *whisper Solly get ready to run! whisper* and... HELP SNIPER IS OBSESSED WITH APPLES AGAIN HELP!

And then Sniper pelted all the REDs to death with apples.

Yeah.

* * *

**Our longest one-shot yet! This was inspired by my friend who always shined his apples until you could see your reflection in it and pelted me with that apple unless I ate it. Yeah. Thanks to the person who gave me this idea.**

**AGAIN! THE POLL IS UP AT MY USER PAGE AND JOIN NY STEAM GROUP - THE MANNLY GROUP**


	11. NOT EVEN A CHALLENGE JUST A FILLER

**Hey guys! I got myself a shiny new youtube channel and a voice recording job now! Sorry if I haven't uploaded in a while, tryouts took AGES and we're starting school in a while so I didn't get to write as much. Yeah.**

**Also, some more things! **

**1) Poll isn't showing up for some reason - VOTE IN THE COMMENTS OR PM ME! Here were the choices (You get to choose 2)- **

** The 10th Class - Some young girl who was wanted and she hid in a building from the cops and got captured and got surgery and got transported into the war. What she didn't realize was that they had her twin sister on the other team and this description has too many 'and's**

** Pineapples - All you ever and never wanted to know about pineapples by the TF2 men. If you choose this option then you get to choose another one because this was a joke. So if you choose this then you can vote for 3 stories instead of 2**

** Ceasefire - What happens when there's a ceasefire and the Soldiers don't get to blow up full size maggots (hint - they blow up actual bug maggots)**

** A War Between Final Combat and Team Fortress - This was supposed to be a one-shot but I got so pissed that China made a cheap ripoff of TF2 that I wrote this. IT ISN'T EVEN CHEAP!**

**2) I am making a new story for Minecraft which I was preparing for a while now. I am accepting Beta Reading Applications - send me a comment if you want to BETA read**

**3) Enjoy!**

* * *

_One day, in the city of Thunder Mountain... _**  
**

"Damnit! I said hold still!"

_A BLU Sniper's voice is heard by the camera, and his face is zoomed into. He has thrown his rifle out the window._

"Rubbish," he says, shaking his head at the Soldier who moved two inches to the left when he had the shot.

Then he saw his Kukri.

_Zoom in on the Kukri. _

The Sniper smiles. "Stabbin' toime."

*Later*

"Heh heh..."

_The Sniper is seen sneaking towards a Soldier._

"Boom!" *Scream of Soldier* "Ha ha! Oim a Spoi!" the Sniper says, with a ski mask on and his knife dripping with blood.

He suddenly drops dead... Did the air kill him? No. It's just the BLU spy.

"NO," the Spy yells and puts on a derpy face until the RED Scout tried to kill him.

* * *

_A Sniper is seen with a Machina._

"WHY CAN'T I SHOOT THIS BLOODY GUN!?"

_Another Sniper comes to see what the fuss is about._

"Ya need to be scoped in to use that gun, mate! Don't start yellin' at things you've started, now!"

"Bah, rubbish," the first Sniper says as he puts up a listing for the Strange Professional Killstreak Machina on Steam... For Three Cents.

WHY THE F #$ WOULD YOU SELL THAT FOR THREE LOUSY CE-

* * *

**Okay just an authors note here - I'm testing out this movie scene thing so if you don't like it tell me how I can improve it.**

**Also that second thing happened when I was on a TF2 Valve server when this guy started raging at his mike, I told him how to do it, and he just listed it on Steam. Let's just say I'm a fast clicker, and on an unrelated topic, I got a Professional Killstreak Machina for three cents. And then resold it (I had one) for 20.00. Idiot.**

**Guys I'm sorry this is so short but I wanted to get this out since you guys have been waiting. Next one will be over 2000 words at least and will be up by Friday. Sorry again for the wait.**


	12. Challenge 10 - Soldier Shenanigans

**Hey guys! It's the second blooper thing in this series! The interview with PYRO will be next. Some people were confused on what it meant.**

**And for the people who DIDN'T see the review I made in the last chapter, I was locked out of my account for a while. They fixed a bug on the site, which was supposedly made when they were updating some software. I dunno. I got back on Saturday and I've been working hard on this ever since.**

**Also, REVIEWS! (Some people said that they can't review twice on the same chapter, if you want to just review as your name with a guest account)**

* * *

**The Other-Ender - Thanks for the vote!**

**Marezin - Eh, you can vote for two more, ya know.**

**TheWriter237 - Oh wait, that's me.**

**Erubbu - Thanks for not giving up on me! I appreciate it.**

* * *

**I AM DOING LONGER ONE-SHOTS BUT BLOOPERS ARE HARD SO EXPECT LONGER ONE-SHOTS**

**Also, that last one didn't count as a challenge because it was too short so this one is challenge 10 instead.**

* * *

Challenge 10 - MEET THE SOLDIER BLOOPERS

...One day, in a peaceful-ish scene...

A BLU Pyro, satisfied with his work on the opposing team, laughed and waved his flamethrower.

The RED Soldier also laughed because he had blown the Pyro into oblivion.

The BLU Demoman drunk his whiskey after a nice explosion.

RED Soldier also had a drink. A nice, long drink for kicking Demoman's ass. (Reference to the new taunt)

The BLU Heavy pretended to have a showdown with the camera.

The RED Soldier watched as he missed and blew the innocent clump of metal, plastic, and glass up.

"We don't have anything to cut, so I'm not going to bother yelling it. We only have five more cameras, you know!" the Director yelled, annoyed by how expensive it is to film nine people.

* * *

"If messing up your lines is sure to result in the Director making you practice them again then you must remember!" Soldier said as he face palmed. "Look, I know I can get it if we try one more ti-"

"CUT! Well, Soldier, looks like you have to practice them fifty more times!" the Director said.

"MAGGOT! YOU AND YOUR COMMUNISM CAN'T FORCE ME TO READ! HUZZAH!" Soldier boomed, taking out his rocket jumper and blasting away.

"Soldier!"

* * *

"If fighting is sure to result in victory then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'm sure he knows a little more about fighting than you, pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor!" Soldier said, actually getting it right.

"Hey, Soldier! Nice job, didn't know you had it in you... WAIT WHY ARE YOU WEARING BLUE!?" the Director screamed, completely confused.

"That's not RED Soldier, it's me! Over here!" a voice yelled from behind a crate. "I'm naked and wearing honey AGAIN!"

"Oh no. Oh nonononononononono!" RED Scout said, in denial and shaking his head back and forth. "Not again! Please don't let that happen again!"

(This is a reference to the Team Fortress 2 Comics, which you can see at the team fortress website.)

* * *

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Soldier yells a battle cry and defeats a Demoman and Medic to goes to the battlefield. "I WILL KILL YOU ALL!"

When he gets there, he sees a formidable opponent:

A Spycrab.

A whole colony of them.

"My eyes! I CAN'T SEE!" He screamed, his hands blocking his face and his legs running around in circles. "I CAN'T SEE!"

* * *

"And then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth. And then he herded them all onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one."

WHEN SUDDENLY!

A SPYCRAB STARTED TO SPYCRAB IN FRONT OF HIM!

"Not every animal on Earth, mon ami." it said, smirking as the Soldier started running away. "YES! RUN AWAY!"

* * *

It was simple.

Soldier was to go up to the Engineer's sentry, empty of bullets and missiles, also at really low health. The he'd jump down to where the control point was and blow up the people on the point. Then the Spy was to uncloak behind him and Soldier was supposed to kill him with a shovel.

*Take one*

_Soldier running up to a sentry._

In a few seconds, the janitor came by to scrape his guts off of the set.

"Sorry, fellas! Forgot ta take out the missiles an' all that." BLU Engie said.

*Take two*

_Boom! Successful rocket jump on the sentry. Now he just needed to blow up the people on the point..._

Whirr...

"Sorry! Forgot not to shoot tiny baby man!"

*Take three*

_Blew up all the things (MEME)... Now he needed to shovel that Spy..._

"Ha! That'll teach you communists not to mess with AMERICAN TERRITORY!" Soldier yelled, staring at their mutilated bodies. "Wait, wasn't there a final part to this scene?" Soldier wondered.

_STAB_

"My apologies, mon amies, he was too much of un idiot to not stab."

* * *

"Heh heh heh... And from that day forward every time a bunch of animals are in one place it's called a zoo!"

_The scene had gone well enough. But suddenly, Medic's head fell off the fence._

"Don't cut yet! He's doing something..." the Director said.

Soldier had bent over to stare at the head. And growled - "Unless it's a barn."

A righteous laugh earned righteously from a righteous man, if I do say so myself.

* * *

**I was going to end it here but I realized why not do the Soldier interview here so yeah.**

* * *

**Q: Hey Soldier! We're gonna have you answer some questions... I'd appreciate it if you don't blow up the studio this time. We already lost one to Scout, ya know! First question is from IcedFireFrenzy, and he says... What's more fun, rocket jumping or teleporting bread?**

**A: Both at the same time! I would rocket jump over a teleporter and throw bread in for three more days if I could!**

**Q: One from Marezin! What are you favorite type of Apple? I can't actually eat Apple's so also... what do they taste like? Is your cage fabulous?**

**A: Golden Apples! BECAUSE I ACCEPT NOTHING LESS THAN GOLD! THIS IS AMERICA! And... You can't eat apples? My... head's starting to hurt... ARGH! APPLES! APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES! I HAVE YOURS CRISPY AND GOLDEN, MAREZIN! GET YOUR AMERICAN OR NON-AMERICAN ARSE HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT! I WILL SHOVE IT UP YOUR THROAT IF I HAVE T-**

** Eh, I did it again, didn't I. Well, to your last question, un-applizer, I am unconscious most of the time so I don't know!**

**Q: Why do you use a rocket launcher? From PizzaSpagettios.**

**A: Why don't you use a rocket launcher? From Soldier.**

**Q: So. You're one of the most played classes in the game. How do you feel about that?**

**A: I FEEL AMAZING! **

* * *

**And it's over! Don't forget to search TheBestSpy or blue_dragon237 on steam and add me!  
Also join the Steam Group - The Mannly Group. Thanks! (and I'm sure it's public)**

**Also, I still need beta readers! Tell me if you want to be one.**


	13. Challenge 11 - Bugs and Idiots

**Hey guys! I am still alive! Yay! **

**Anyway, I wanted to get this out for a while. There are a lot of bugs in Team Fortress 2, as you'd expect. Let's just go over the most funny ones.**

**Usually this was just going to be named bugs, but I've seen soooooooo many idiots in this game that I decided to write them down. Amusing for you and me and a longer distraction for you. Let's begin.**

**Some more notices first - No Beta Readers yet. And about that... I'm working on that story too so maybe slower updates for about a week. Sorry.**

**Just had to get that out.**

* * *

_Before we begin, guys, let me just tell you this. Go to the steam community market and find the Strange Professional Killstreak Australium Sniper Rifle. It should be around 150$. If you go in the history though, you will see that someone had sold it for around 58 cents. And guess what? I got that too. I was browsing through the cheapest stranges, wishing I had more than a few bucks in my steam, when I saw it. Yeah. THAT PERSON IS AN IDIO- anyway I sold it on the market for 100$ and it actually got sold in about five minutes. This happened a lot of times. On a completely unrelated topic, I have five hundred dollars in Steam without paying any money._

_Go figure. Apparently games ARE good for you. _

* * *

**Bug 1 - The Bread Win on Upward**

(With the new love and war update, teleporters now fire bread out. You can use this by building a teleporter exit right next to the edge of the last point on upward and fire a bread in. The bread will make the bomb invisible.)

RED Engineer was bored. They'd been on Upward forever - The REDs were barely holding off the BLUs but they couldn't push the cart without getting killed by the REDs.

So he was bored. Not the regular "I'm so bored I want to take a nap" type of bored. He was bored out of his mind.

And when _he's_ out of his mind, for some reason his mind thinks harder.

The last point's explosives on the bottom couldn't be detonated by people or anything they had on them. The Administrator warned them to never bring food to the fights... And since the Breadzilla incident, teleporters spewed out bread whenever someone used them.

So what if he measured the angle to make the bread fall in the pit?

Nah, that couldn't happen. They wouldn't let it.

But still. Standing around waiting for the BLU Spy to get him was way too boring. Might as well give it a go.

So he set up the teleporter exit next to the place and watched as the bread flew into the pit.

Watched as the cart became invisible.

Watched as the whole world suddenly froze.

When it unfroze again, apparently the BLU team had won. Soldier was going to have a field day with him.

* * *

**Bug 2 - Secret Caves**

(With most maps where you can fall to your death and some where you can't [i.e. Barnblitz and Cactus Canyon], it is possible to get under the ground. Obviously this is great if you're an engineer.)

RED Sniper had so many kills, he was actually starting to get bored. He hadn't let the BLU Heavy or Medic get out of his crosshair and Jarated the Spy every time the Backstabbing Frenchman got near. In other words, he was bored.

When he learned about the new place RED had captured a while ago called Cactus Canyon, he doubted that it would have a good sniping location like most other maps.

He was wrong.

When he fell over the edge after getting airblasted by the enemy Pyro, he desperately tried not to fall and catch a crevice in the cliff - Anything for him not to fall off.

He was surprised when that 'anything' was a glitch in the ground.

We fell through the floor, and apparently the Pyro couldn't see him OR shoot through, but Sniper tested if _he_ could shoot through.

He could. And the best part was sometimes their weapons fell through as well so he had unlimited ammo.

It's safe to say that the REDs won that day.

* * *

**Idiot 1 - The Golden Gun**

(Story I told you guys earlier)

RED Sniper was having a good day. He was getting a pretty good killstreak on his Australium Professional Killstreak Sniper Rifle.

Then the RED Spy trolled him by somehow hacking into the spawn room of the Sniper and putting the Golden Gun on the Steam Store for fifty cents.

It's safe to say as well that it was gone in about five seconds.

* * *

**That's all I have for now, keep your eyes open though, I got used to high school and I'll update more often.**

**Peace!**


	14. Note

**Guys, Fanfiction problems have been keeping me offline so yeah. Sorry. This was the first day I got back so expect a new story about in two days.**


	15. Challenge 12 - X10 part 1

**Whoo! Guys, The Minecraftian - Fight of the Chosen is coming out later today! Check out my user page if you're interested in Minecraft stories. That's the reason behind the no-update period, anyway.**

**Also, the number of views is at 3,348 when I wrote these words. You guys are amazing! I'm going to do a special story about OVER 9000 as soon as we reach that number of views.**

**REVIEWS!**

* * *

**(Eh... I've been gone for so long there's about 15 reviews and 8 are by one person. Sorry, one person, but I'm only going to acknowledge you once. Yeah.) **

**Marzerin - THE PINEAPPLES HAVE PREVAILED! Also, read the chapter for Soldier Shenanigans if you want Soldier yelling at you again.**

**Erubbu - Thanks for understanding! I got back a while ago, don't worry.**

**IcedFireFrenzy - Thanks for your question - it has been submitted.**

**Marzerin - Yeah it was me. Sorry!**

**Gamerfan64 - Hm... Not bad, not bad. It's crazy. I like it.**

**AlithiaSigma - WALL OF TEXT! Too many ideas, I may or may not get around to all of them...**

**IcedFireFrenzy - WHOOOOO!**

* * *

**That's it for now, make sure to check out the Minecraft story later!  
**

* * *

Challenge 12 - X10 Mod

_The Frying Pan - Will make a sound so freaking huge it will blow off the enemy's headphones._

"Hm... Fish... Ham... Frying Pan! WHOOOOO!" A RED Scout says, not knowing that all their item stats were multiplied by ten.

"Let's do dis! Imma gonna pan allya!"

-Five Minutes Later-

"SCOUT!"

* * *

_The Gloves Of Running Yesterday - Makes you run so freaking fast you end up warping time itself and go back to yesterday. Still gets minicrits, but ten times as much. -250% damage. (Doesn't this mean you heal them instead of damaging them?)_

"It is good day to be yesterday! HA HA HA!" Heavy says, putting on his epic gloves of fire and running top speed in Badlands. In a minute though, his smile turned into a scream as he realized he had gone back to prehistoric times and killed all the dinosaurs. Dang.

* * *

_The Holy Mackarel - Humiliates people 10 times as much._

"Ahhaha! Fish!" Scout yells as he runs around slapping people with fish and causing them to die of embarrassment. Yeah.

* * *

_The Beggar's Bazooka - 200 ammo, 30 fired at the same time, 10X reload speed, 30 degrees random direction for each rocket. Can you hit anything?_

I AM A NATURAL! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The rest of the day was filled with rockets and not much else.

* * *

_The Escape Plan - Makes you go 10 times as fast regularly and 1000 times as fast when you have 1 health. Enough to go as fast as the Gloves of Running Yesterday._

"THE GODS HAVE SAID POOTIS!" Soldier runs around as he takes out his escape plan and ends up in the same place as Heavy. Go figure.

* * *

_Razorback - Blocks ten backstabs._

RED Spy snorted as he snuck up on a Sniper to backstab him.

"Oh, he has a Razorback? Hiding it won't save his back..."

**STAB**

"What in ze hell?"

There were nine more shields.

"SPY 'ROUND HERE!"

"Oh, please."

* * *

_Jarate - Minicrits players ten times as much. Also useful for putting out volcanos._

"I AM THE MASTER OF THE PISS!"

* * *

_All cosmetics - Make you ten times as awesome._

Medic runs around in his fully pimp Medic Medieval Mode set.

"Surprise, Hatless! YOU ARE NOT AMAZING!"

* * *

**This is just a quick filler I wrote to get you guys interested again. It's also the first of its kind, I have too much fun making these.**


	16. Challenge 13 - Randomizer

**Hi guys! In the Author's Note I'll be discussing something important today, please do not skip.**

**I realized I had to write this, and I've been meaning to for a while. If you make stories, I hope this applies to you too, or I'm just wasting my time. **

**You know how I say there are a certain amount of reviews or views so far, right? I did so in the last chapter, too.**

**To the people who write the stories and make the videos online, those numbers actually don't sound like real people watched your stuff. That's why it feels so amazing for you to meet someone who has read your stories or watched your videos that didn't know it was you who wrote it in the first place. **

**So guys, if you appreciate my videos and you are already a commenter (the people who actually appreciate it a ton and feel like they want to speak to you never message you anyway because they're too nervous they'll be ignored or something****), email me at this specially made email for you guys - thefanbase237 . If you have extra time and you want to contact me, send an email over. Thanks.**

**Also, my new Minecraft story - Game of the Gods has come out! Feel free to go to my user page and get to it, or search it in the search bar! I DARE YOU!**

* * *

Challenge 13 - Randomizer

_Randomizer is a game mod where your class AND weapons for your primary, secondary, and melee are randomized. So you can be a Medic with the Rocket Launcher, Flare Gun, and Butterfly Knife or something. Or you can be a Heavy with the Rocket Jumper, the Sticky Jumper, and the Half-Zatoichi._

_Believe me, that has happened._

"Let's have a go at it!" RED Sniper yells as he picks up his gun and runs out to his favorite sniping spot.

"This bloke's 'bout ta have a big gapin' whole above his neck..." he says as he is surprised that fire came out instead of a nice, shiny bullet. "Gah! Why do oi have a bloody backburnah?"

"Oh, man, Sniper! How do you freakin' aim with this thing? Jesus!" Scout says, Machina in hand and missing every shot.

"Whot the bloody hell is going on! Why do you have moi sniper?"

"Didn't you hear? Dat Admin and da hot girl Pauline put in somethin' that changes the weapons we get, or whatever."

"Argh! I don't do frontline combat!"

-5 min later-

"BURN YA BLOODY PIKERS, BURN!

* * *

"Who touched Sasha? WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!" BLU Heavy yells, enraged and about to destroy everything he sees.

Soldier is seen with the minigun.

"Screaming eagles!"

"Soldier! Why do you have Sasha?" BLU Heavy yells.

_Repeats explanation RED Scout gave to their team's Sniper._

"Oh. Is that why I have POOTIS gun?"

-4 min later-

"POOTIS POOTIS POOTIS POOTIS POOTIS POOTIS POOTIS"

* * *

"Huddah hudda mmph!" Pyro says, wondering why he had a rocket launcher.

-3 min later-

"Huddah huddah huddah huh! HUDDAH MMPH MPH MM MMM!"

(TRANSLATION: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY!)

* * *

Medic just about had it, being one of the weakest classes in the game on head-to-head combat. I mean sure, on good days he could get quite a few kills with his Blutsauger and its vampire needles, but those days didn't come very often.

So when he got his turn with a minigun, a knife, and a flare gun, well, you have to treasure those moments.

Moments when you get to have blood on your hands.

Moments when you get to see the carnage you created.

:P Medic can be the strongest class, you know.

* * *

Having to run around all day keeps you in shape.

It also keeps you faster than everyone else.

And if you're faster than everyone else AND you have the baby face's blaster to speed you up, then a spy knife doesn't seem too bad after all.

Welcome to Scoot Fortress 2.

* * *

Demoman was tired of not being able to shoot the bullets pretty much anyone else but Medic could. And HE got a freaking healer minigun.

So when he got a chance at the wheels with the Blutsauger, Family Buisness, and the Eyelander, well, you should fear him.

Seriously. Fear him.

* * *

Engineer was tired of having those demomen blowing up his building all the time. So when he got the Stickybomb Launcher and the Grenade Launcher AS WELL AS the Ullapool Caber, all hell broke loose.

RUN YOU SCOTS RUN!

* * *

Spy always hated the Pyros. Even with the spy-cicle and the Dead Ringer, they were a pain.

So he got the chance to get revenge.

He noticed a Pyro about to backstab a friendly Medic. He even had the Spy-Cicle and the Dead Ringer! What luck!

He thanked the TF2 gods of Pootis and resumed burning the Pyro up to ashes.

* * *

**Eh, quick write about some crazy Randomizer parts. These are true stories. Most of them were on KOTH_PRO NUCLEUS and CP_BADLANDS.**

**Please check out the Minecraft story! I put a lot of time into it, hope you enjoy! **

**If you read the Minecraft story say pancake in the comments.**


	17. Notice for all

**PLEASE READ IF YOU LIKED MY STORIES AND WANT MORE OPPORTUNITIES **

Hi guys! I came back to life!

Seriously though, I'm really really REALLY sorry for going away this long. I had a lot of reasons, but I'll only list some to not bore you.

1) I was tired of being hacked and having my files deleted (You'd know if you looked at the reviews section enough)

2) I had a lot of matches in competitive gaming all of a sudden

3) And most importantly, my writing was terrible. Honestly. I have heard that my stories and story concepts were good but frankly I was horrible at using them to write my ideas. It didn't help that I'm not a native English speaker.

That said, I'm sorry for immaturely leaving without saying anything or doing anything about the hacks. But I am back, after a long wait, so I have a few announcements!

_Oh boy, does he have cookies?_

No I don't, fellow writer/reader, but I do have better things!

I am making a brand new account called That Fl1ps Guy on this website, so you can go over there pretty soon (I'm making it as soon as I post this) and it will probably start brand new, better stories or build up and re-make the new ones to be much better! Yay!

My second announcement is that I have decided to unveil my steam ID to the public! I would like to have some people to chat and play with, so here's my username that will most likely never change (If it does I'll be sure to announce that on my new account)

It's Fl1ps! What a coincidence!

My third announcement, and equally as good for you and me, is that I will be getting a ton of free time and have a lot of ideas backed up (by that I mean a notebook full) so I can just start writing and spew out chapters in your face, no matter you like it or not. Deal with it.

My last announcement is more of a business thing but it's a business that you all participate in! I am writing an original novel By Me, for you.

I haven't even decided on a title yet, and it's up to you to decide! There will be an announcement like this on every document I create on my new account in which you can PM to me, tell me your gmail (it can be a new one only for this) and get the document shared with you as soon as I transfer it to google drive from my notepad. Basically, you get to be an editor! And you need absolutely no experience! I will explain in more detail when I upload more from my new account.

One last time, my new username is That Fl1ps Guy, and I hope to see all of you guys again! Peace out!


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